It’s amazing how we all love to scream out our inner thoughts, feelings, opinion, etc in any way possible. Those of us who are in tune with our inner feelings seem to easily find outlets.
In Tehran, graffiti is a popular outlet for these random thoughts. Political, humorous, cultural, religious, cartoons, poetic, etc are every where you look.
In Kuwait though I have only seen these:
I loved them. Very artistic. How come there aren’t any more?
I just saw this sentence:
“I know I’d feel better if I forgave you. But, so would you, and I REALLY don’t want that”.
At first I chuckled and thought it is kind of funny. Then I thought, hey what if my car feels this way?
Well I can now officially call myself insane. A few days ago I got into my car and gave it a sincere heartfelt apology. I don’t think I have ever apology to another fellow human being the way I apologized to my car.
The background of the story
I hate my car (correction: I used to hate my car). I just find it truly boring mainly because there aren’t any buttons or gadgets I can fiddle around with. All I can do with this car is drive it!!!! Booooorrrriiiinngg. Well I have not made this hatred a secret. I badmouth the poor thing any chance I get.
Anyway, few days ago I went to see a show (Midsummer Night’ Dream performance at the British Embassy) with a couple of friends. After the show we wanted to go to Salmiya for a cup of coffee. I left my car parked in an isolated parking lot and went with them. Around midnight one of them said, “Won’t it be funny if your car is towed by now”.
Ouch!!! The thought of my poor car being stuck all alone in the middle of a car pound with strangers just broke my heart. I just had to get to it. Boom bang bam around 10 minutes later I saw my car in that isolated quiet parking lot all alone in a corner. I approach it very timidly. I was too embarrassed to look up at it in the windshield. Very meekly I put my keys in and opened the door. As soon as I got in, I whispered out loud, “Sorry, I will never ever leave you alone”. And I meant it.
I will also no longer bad mouth my laptop or imate. I will treat each one of them with the respect they deserve.
The only downside to today was that one of my favorite Business English classes ended. I am so going to miss this class. I mean they were everything a teacher could ask for: motivated, intelligent, active, but above all…….they cracked me up.
On Saturday after we had covered the first and second conditional sentences, I asked them if they use this kind of sentence at their workplace. You know, sentences like, ‘If you deliver the goods today, I will pay 50% in advance’.
So one trainee quickly looked at me and “Yeah, I use it all the time”.
“Great. In what kind of situations?” Of course the answer I was expecting and hoping to elicit from him was that he uses it in negotiations or when making concessions.
“I use it when I need to bribe someone”
Today all 4 seasons came to wave hello here in Kuwait. In the morning it was kind of hot, dusty around noon time, rained evening time (oh yeah, magical rain droplets) and freezing-drop-ass cold at night. I loved today. Someone please come and wipe the grin off my face.
Would you look at me. I inaugurated my blog last Thursday and instead of posting my rant and raves, I am filling it up with cool gadgets (pat on my back). Would you believe that I also have to hand in a huge proposal tomorrow that I haven’t even started working on yet? It’s 12:15 am now. I am so fired, I just know it. I think procrastinating is on my list of 100 things about moi; maybe I should also add being a gadget freak? I wonder if there is a help group for people like me?
Anway, I got the code for most of them from: GOOGLE GADGETS
And the others from these sites:
You know, I have learnt so much about myself since I started making this list. Like I never knew I loved Pacman so much…..and I didn’t know I could perform the dance of joy so passionately. I learnt both facts about myself when I saw Pacman on Google.
I recently got a pension plan from Alico and had to go to the International Clinic for a medical check up. Now the only time I ever read magazines is when I can get hold of free ones 
(I guess I got to add being stingy or frugal as I like to call it to my list). Anyway, I am flipping through a magazine when I come across this article with a picture of a woman lying down on her back with towel on her stomach. My jaws drop, eye wide open and i let out a little gasp. The towel is on fire. Yep, and oh the woman had a grin on her face. Now unfortunately the article was in Arabic so I couldn’t get more out if it. So I came home and googled it. Here’s an excerpt and link to the story:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/12/04/wburn04.xml
Women who want to lose weight are being offered a startling new way to burn fat – by being set on fire.
Would-be slimmers are flocking to a spa in Hong Kong that promises to reduce their waistlines by smearing them with Chinese herbs, dousing them with alcohol and then setting light to them, all for £78 a session.
The spa claims that the intense heat of the fire penetrates deep tissue, increasing circulation and helping the body to absorb the herbal concoction which works to detoxify the body and break down fat.
Unfortunately I could only find this picture: 
Well since none of my diets seems to be working, I think it is high time I set myself on fire.
[Ten Minutes Later]
I just realized that apart from skipping that daily chocolate bar, I have not technically been on a diet. So I might put off setting myself on fire for a while.
You wanna hear something ironic? I am a Middle-Eastern who’s been living in Kuwait for over 4 years now, but it took an American who was in Kuwait for only 2 weeks to teach me the art of smoking sheesha (hookah).
Serious. We were at ‘Silk and Spice’ an Indian restaurant in Al-Kout Mall, when she brought up the subject. I told her I have never smoked one. She was shocked. So she turned to the waiter and asked if they have sheeshas.
“Madam, this is an Indian restaurant. We don’t have sheeshas”, smiled the waiter.
“So where is the nearest place we get find sheeshas?”
“There is a Lebanese restaurant just pass Columbus Café”
Five minutes later a strawberry sheesha was in front of me and a grape one was appeasing her. As the sheesha guy was preparing our sheeshas, she gave step by step explanation as to what he was doing and why. How the heck she turned into a sheesha expert in just 2 weeks beats me.
Now even though I had only know her for 3 hours, she had managed to figure out int that short time that I am kind of daft. So as soon I took hold of the tube came her well timed advice, “Don’t blow into it, you got to inhale”
Inhale I did, several times but alsas nothing happened. Poor thing, she kept coaching me till I finally got it. “Now”, she said, “you got to try to get it out of your nose”.
“Out of my nose?!!!”
“Yeh, you would look like a raging bull”
Well she forgot to mention that after looking like a raging bull, the room would start to spin, your head would get light and you would start feeling giddy. Damn, I seriously don’t understand why people get a kick out of smoking sheeshas.
1. To start off, I’m an Iranian born in Kuwait
2. I have seen 32 summers and autumns pass by, but only 31 winters and springs.
3. I have lived in Kuwait, Montréal, Toronto, Isfahan and Tehran. I have traveled to England, France, Greece, Italy, Spain, and Turkey. And I have had 1 day visits to Boston, Pakistan, Dubai, Abu Dhabi, and Qatar.
4. I currently live in Kuwait.
5. I terribly miss Tehran. Things I miss most: the mountains, vali-asr street in autumn (because of the magical beauty of the foliage and the various colors and the way the trees are suspended over the street as if they are leaning in to hug you), the smell of Jasmine eespeciallyin the mornings, cool early morning breeze, watching the sunrise or sunset at Darband, sweet smell of snow, smell of freshly baked Iranian bread, Modarees highway and its breath taking greenery, yes even the exasperating traffic.
6. I’ve been an ESL (English as a second language) teacher for over 11 years now.
7. I love love, love and love chocolate. Chocolate anything: bar, cake, ice-cream, hot drink, biscuit, pudding, and especially frosting. I once ate a kilogram of chocolate ice cream in 3 hours.
8. Listening to the sound of rain hitting the roof of my car always makes me smile
9. I have never been in love
10. I procrastinate. One good example is this blog. I created it last week but only making an entry now (pat on my back)
11. I bought a guitar just so I could sit on the beach and play “Yea Divareh” (a Persian song). The guitar is now gathering dust
12. I love my niece to bits.
13. I love singing in the car. Switching off the car if one of my favorite songs is on is considered as a moral sin. The right path to take in this situation is to sing along till it finishes then get out of the car
14. I have not read a book in 9 years. The last book I read was the Persian translation of “The Alchemist”. A friend forced me to read it. I can’t even remember the last English book I read.
15. Before moving to Iran I used to read at least 3 books a month
16. I have never lied to a friend. I just do not tell them the whole story (heehee)
17. Despite my best effort, I can’t stop my tears from falling when watching films, even comedies!! Hey I even get teary-eyed during cartoons, commercials, songs. Last time I cried was when listening to the line “Goodbye Michelle my little one” for the nth time in “Seasons in the sun”.
18. My spelling sucks; yes I did say I was an English teacher
19. I don’t consider downloading songs off the net as illegal nor immoral. I have never bought an original CD, only bootlegged ones. Is it wrong?
20. I talk to myself…yes even out loud if no one is on the room
21. My favorite 2 sounds are the sound of raindrops and waves
22. When taking a shower I always cover my ears and listen to the sound of water drop on my head.
23. Things I would like to do before I turn 35: bungee jumping, scuba diving, fly in a hot air balloon, and visit at least 2 more countries.
24. If my house is ever on fire, I would grab my diary, my picture album (including my picture CDs), and my box of mementos
25. I sign off all my emails with “Have a magical day”
26. My favorite word is “magical”
27. I over use the word “extremely” and “ass”
28. My biggest flaw is that I tend to jump to conclusions a lot. Hey blame it on my zodiac sign
29. My zodiac sign is cancer
30. I am also quite sensitive…again blame it on my sign
31. When I’m upset with someone, I could go for months without talking to them
32. My favorite album is “Affirmation” by “Savage Garden”
33. The best gift I have ever received was a book on tape translation of “The Little Prince”. The tape was narrated by Ahmed Shamloo.
34. The only French book I have ever read is the French version of this book. And yes, I have also read the English version.
35. For a while, my hobby was collecting quotations. Now I have no hobbies at all. Sad isn’t it?
36. My favorite flower is yellow daffodils; but my favorite floral scent is Jasmine. I used to watch out for those daffodil street vendors when stuck in traffic in Tehran. I thought to myself that if I knew for sure that paradise is full of that bright yellow glow of daffodil and the smell of Jasmine, I would try to be a better person so I could get in.
37. I always get lost when driving in Kuwait. I think that’s mostly because I have a little concert going on in my head (see no 13)
38. I hate asking for directions. I would drive around in circles for hours but would not stop for a millisecond to ask someone where the hell I am.
39. I only own 1 pair of shoes, 2 pairs of flip flops, and 1 pair of sneakers. I wonder if I have broken some kind of world record for the least pair of shoes owned by a woman. I once wore the same pair of shoes for 3 years.
40. I hate my hair. I have half a mind to shave it off and wear a different kind of wig everyday
41. I refuse to eat okra (lady fingers). Even looking at it is a bit torturous for me.
42. As a kid I once sat and prayed and begged God to punish Jerry for hurting Tom so much.
43. It used to really piss me off when people did not spell my name right after I had repeatedly corrected it for them. Now I am ok with it. Now if someone misspells my name I would just put a little curse on them
44. I also put curses on people who are late for appointments, meetings, outings, dates, etc
45. Whenever I am depressed all I have to do is go for a walk on the beach. The longest it has ever taken the beach to cheer me up is 10 seconds.
46. Films I have watched more than once within 2 days are: Forrest Gump, My big fat Greek wedding, Life is beautiful, The Others, From Karkhe to Rein (Iranian: Az kharkhe ta Rien), The color of paradise (Iranian: Raange-Khoda).
47. I can’t stand men who don’t tuck their shirts in when wearing formal attire.
48. I don’t believe in capital punishment. Not because I think it is a cruel and inhumane, but because I think it is not cruel enough. The best way to punish rapists and molesters is to put them in solitary confinement for life. I also believe that the sentence for these 2 crimes should be a lot harsher than homicide since when you rape or molest someone you have scarred them for life.
49. I don’t do mornings
50. I once got detention in primary school because my teacher realized that the nickname I had given him “Mr. Soosky” meant Mr. Cockroach in Farsi. I don’t know why I called him that. I actually had a little crush on him. Anyway, he made me write 500 times, “I will not call Mr Stanistosky (I think that was his name) Mr. Soosky”.
A few days ago I was sitting with a couple of friends (M and N) nagging as usual that there is no spark in my life and that I need some kind of addiction. N suggested that I start a blog. It was kind of funny since only 2 weeks prior an online friend suggested that same thing. Well here I was, getting all the signs and so I said to myself, maybe it’s time I get into this blogging game.
There was only one problem: I had no idea how to start or what to say. N’s answer, “Make a list of 100 things about yourself”. Now, since I don’t know myself that well, I made a list of 50 things about moi. Here we go: [see next post]
