Just when you think…

Just when you think you have broken the ice with your new soul, your new being, your new self; jut when you think you are getting comfortable in your new skin, your new essence, your new you, in comes the angel of darkness to test your strength.

A few days ago, my little train ride to destination serenity derailed. My arch enemy-depression- hopped on board again. I had fallen into the same trap:

  • Phone off hook all day
  • Retreat into my dark cave
  • Mix emotions of anger, frustration, despair, sadness
  • Aimless car drives
  • Beach walks

I wish I knew what triggered it. If I did, I’ll deal with it. The biggest lesson I learnt from last time was that I must communicate, mustn’t bottle things up. And I did adhere to this self-imposed principle; things were going so well for a while. What happened? What lesson must I learn this time?

Well, tonight my good old aquintance found its place on my face again—a smile. Where did that come from? Why was I smiling again all of a sudden. Why did I feel light again. Why was TODAY a good day? Mustn’t miss the lesson; gotta know why.


8 thoughts on “Just when you think…

  1. Depression is an awful thing. It is hard to piece out sometimes whether it is a warranted depression of situation, or a clinical depression that needs outside attention. Either way, communicating with loved ones, be they friends or family, is always helpful, especially in knowing that you are not alone. Best wishes to you! 😀

  2. So many of us battle that demon, dear one. I think the beach walk might have done the trick, though. When I wake up with that heavy “I don’t want to wake up” feeling, I make myself exercise. It doesn’t make any problems go away, but for some reason it does release those good chemical endorphins that make everything more bearable.

    I also find that sometimes if I sink into it, I get bored, and find a way to bring myself out of it.

    It works differently for each of us, though. My heart is with you.

  3. Dont worry it happens to all of us , life is sometimes cruel , join the laughter club if there is one !

  4. It happens to me sometimes and I think to everybody also, it is part of our life to make it colorful and to learn lesson from it.

  5. carly: thanks. That’s what i have been doing: communicating with loved ones. Talking really does make one feel light.

    intlxpatr: i just join a gym and u r right, exercising does make one feel good. thanks for your concern

    fayoora: I’m over it…i think…for the time being. But i know that it would come back, it’s natural…what i try to do is understand what triggers it so i can understand myself better.

    gray: actually i think there is one in kuwait. saw an ad some weeks ago. good idea would see if i can find it.

    rieanne: exactly. That’s what i wanna do.. learn from it.

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