Would think of a title later…

*checks date of last post*

*eyes pops out*

*scratches head*

*wonders how could 4 weeks pass by without her noticing it!!!*

*apologizes to the blogosphere world for being out of touch it for so long*

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Well, I got so much to talk about…but later…in the meantime enjoy some of stuff that have made me smile lately:

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While driving on the highway, my son noticed a child in the window of a car in the next lane, holding up a handwritten sign that read “Help.”

A few minutes later, the car passed him and he again glanced at it. The little boy held up the same sign and this time followed it with another, which read “My mother is singing!”

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We’d just moved to Halifax, and I was working nights in a call center. Parent-teacher interviews were coming up, and my daughter Bethany, who was in Grade 2, took it upon herself to explain to her teacher why I couldn’t be there.

“My mommy can’t come tonight,” Bethany said, “because she works nights, She’s a call girl.”

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It seemed that all our appliances had broken in the same week, and repairs were straining our budget. So when I picked up the kids from school and our Explorer started making rattling sounds, I decided that rather than burden my husband, I’d deal with it. I hadn’t reckoned on my little tattletales, however. They rushed into the house with the news: “Daddy, the Explorer was breaking down, but Mom made the noise stop!”

Impressed, my husband asked, “How did you fix it?”

“I turned up the volume on the radio,” I confessed.

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When you go to work if your name is on the building, you’re rich. If your name is on your desk, you’re middle-class. If your name is on your shirt, you’re poor.

A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local native.

“What is it made of?” she asked.

“Alligator’s teeth,” the native replied.

“I suppose,” she said patronizingly, “that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us.”

“Oh no,” he objected. “Anybody can open an oyster.”

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I began thinking about my own mortality after I became a widow. One day my daughter called home from college, and I announced to her, “I think it’s time for us to talk about where I would like to be buried.”

“It’s way too soon to even think of anything like that,” she snapped indignantly. Then there was a brief silence. “Wait a minute, did you say married or buried?”

When I repeated buried, she said, “Oh, okay, sure.”

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We took the family to one of those restaurants where the walls are plastered with movie memorabilia. I went off to see the hostess about reserving a table. When I returned, I found my 10- year-old granddaughter staring at a poster of Superman standing in a phone booth. She looked puzzled. “She doesn’t know who Superman is?” I asked my husband.

“Worse,” he replied. “She doesn’t know what a phone booth is.”

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Out bicycling one day with my nine-year-old granddaughter, Jacqueline, I got a little wistful. “In ten years,” I said, “you’ll want to be with your friends and you won’t go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now.”

Jacqueline shrugged. “In ten years you’ll be too old to do all those things anyway.”

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Halfway through a romantic dinner, my husband smiled and said, “You look so beautiful under these lights.” I was falling in love all over again when he added, “We gotta get some of these lights.”

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“An ignorant person is one who doesn’t know what you have just found out.”

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A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hang the wash outside.

That laundry is not very clean, she said, she doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.

Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: “Look! She has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this.”

The husband said: “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows!”

And so it is with life: “What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look. Before we give any criticism, it might be a good idea to check our state of mind and ask ourselves if we are ready to see the good rather than to be looking for something in the person we are about to judge. “

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