Archive | July 2011

600 Days

Dear Mom,

Today, July 18th, marks the anniversary of the day you gave birth to me…it also marks 600 days since you found you peace. 600 days.

Your departure greatly altered my life. For the first time in my life I feel lonely. Never realized how attached I was to you till you left. So today for the 2nd year I celebrate my birthday without a cake that was baked or bought by you. Three years ago you got your doctor to give you permission to leave the hospital so you can take me to our favorite restaurant so you can celebrate my birthday…that was the last time I actually had a cake on my birthday. I didn’t last year…and I am not planning to this year. I’m not ready yet…yes, I have moved on…I do laugh again…I am quite cheerful…but I still can’t do the things I used to do with you without you…I have moved on in the sense that I left Kuwait so I am no longer forced to go to places I used to go with you…I don’t watch Indian movies anymore coz that’s the sort of thing I used to do with you…but I have moved on…I do listen to Indian songs…and at times I can hear you singing along with the song 🙂 I did celebrate Nowroz this year coz you asked me to…you loved nowroz 🙂 … but don’t know why celebrating my birthday without you is just way too painful…maybe coz the memory of my last one 2 years ago with you…maybe coz a birthday without you is meaningless…or maybe coz i don’t feel like being joyful on the 600th day of your departure.

Missing you,

Noushin