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Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year ;p

Why do the Brits insists on ruining the English language??!! It’s MERRY Christmas not HAPPY Christmas.

The next Brit who says Happy Christmas, I’ll reply with “…and a Merry New Year!” ;p ;p

 

May you spend each and everyday of 2012 having yummy food and shaking your booty to this beat:  

Who was it?

There is an Iranian nursery rhyme that roughly translates as so:

Who was it, who was it?

It wasn’t me, it was my hand

It was the fault of my sleeve

The sleeve belongs to my coat

The coat belongs to my dad

I love reading up on the source and stories behind nursery rhymes…and when I don’ t find one, I use my sherlockum deductive reasoning to derive at one (aka, I make up the story).

Here’s how I think this nursery rhyme originated:  Long long ago when the first president was sworn in, his mommy knew he would screw up soon. So she thought, hmm? Let’s see? Who can we blame all his future screws ups on? Long story short, she added the ‘Who was it? clause to his swearing in oath. To this day, this is how presidents around the world are sworn in-true story!

PS. The nursery rhyme does rhyme in Farsi

PPS. I totally made up the word ‘sherlockum’

PPPS. This has nothing to do with Bashar Asad’s interview today with Barabara Walters ;p

Dev Anand, BBC, and Population Control

I’m one of those people who goes to bed with the radio on and wakes up with the news. I woke up with BBC World Service this morning. Tthe second piece of news in the headlines was the passing away of Dev Anand. I was still in bed and my first though was if mom had heard this news yet or not, was about to get up to tell her when I remembered.

It had been some time that I had forgotten that mom herself was no longer here.

Well, one of her favorite films was Guide . Mom, this is dedicated to you:

But during breakfast I got thinking…why was this one of BBC WORLD Service’s main news piece? I mean what percentage of their world wide listeners actually even know who he is? True, other than the sub-continent, Bollywood is quite popular in GCC countries (that’s why I grew up with Bollywood), and possibly maybe in Malaysia and Indonesia…but…ah well, that’s it then…that’s A LOT…the sub-continent may only be one part of the world but they make up a significant percentage of the world’s population…and with that comes power..consumer power…and with that comes attention…businesses (including BBC) love a single large (mostly) homogenous consumer group…which is way in supermarkets in London you would find Indian ethnic items (food, clothing, music, etc) in abundance. But if I need to get my favorite Iranian sweet (Shereny Ard nokhodchey), I need to go to that charming Iranian shop in Peckham 😦

SOLUTION: I need to start a campaign urging Iranians to bred and multiply…forget population control…If you care at all about Nokhodchey, you would start having babies, loads and loads of them, tomorrow!! 😉

RIP Dev Saab and thank you for making all those movies that gave mom so many memories and so many stories to tell me 🙂

The new 7 wonders of Nature: Iran’s Mount Damavand and Kuwait’s Failaka Island

Good old mother nature (or daddy nature for the sake of not sounding sexist) is taking part in a beauty pageant and is asking you guys for your vote 🙂

Since the site has a scary “INFORMATION ON REPRODUCING AND COPYING THIS RANKING INFORMATION” clause I am refraining from putting my copy and paste talent to good use here and will just c ‘n p their url: http://www.new7wonders.com/nature/en/liveranking/#bottom

I wanted to blindly vote for Mount Damavand from Iran and Failaka from Kuwait, but apparently I have 7 votes in the following categories and  have to cast all my 7 votes at once 😦

new7wonders_-live-ranking-www_new7wonders_com_nature_en_liverankin

Mount Damavan’s current ranking is 8 in group C and Failaka’s current ranking is 21 in group B

BUT for both of them their status is currently pending!!

OSC Status: Pending
We have been approached for the formation of an Official Supporting Committee (OSC) for this nominee. However, the applicant does not fulfill all the New7Wonders of Nature requirements for an OSC formation. If YOU are an official administrator of a public entity or could enroll such a public entity, please fill out the OSC fax application and fax it to us.
WITHOUT AN OFFICIAL SUPPORTING COMMITTEE (OSC), A NOMINEE CANNOT PARTICIPATE IN THE NEXT STAGES OF THE NEW7WONDERS OF NATURE CAMPAIGN.

Who’s the official supporting committe in Iran and Kuwait? Please fill in the form so I can continue with my bias voting process…please

let me sue, let me sue

old-enough-to-sue

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I got up today around 9:30 with 1 question on my mind: Is it normal to sleep 16 hours on weekends and 11 hours on weekdays?

Ok, I got another question now: Is it normal to STILL feel sleepy afterwards?

If it’s not normal than I gotta sue someone…something must be in the air or in the food I eat that is making me feel this drowsy these days…

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[5 minutes later]

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I just had a good laugh at myself. Apparently, I have been told that one of my catchphrases is, “I (or you) should sue them.” 😀 ….Okay, I never seriously mean it, but wouldn’t it be fun to sue the skin* off someone over an absurd ground.

Some of the people I wanted to sue in the past were:

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1. the inventor of high heels every time I get sore feet

2. the inventor of pizza for making it taste so good that I can’t stop till I have had 1 complete medium size—thin crust of course—in 10 minutes

3. the person in charge of population control for not during their job properly and making me feel like a sardine among 200 others in a 5 cm tin every time I went to Engalab Square in Tehran

4. my gut feelings every time I misjudge someone (yep suing myself)

5. the inventor of the remote control for giving my brother the power to whizz throw 500 channels in 1 minute and thus my an irking headache

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But today I came across a list on The LIST UNIVERSE (love this site) on “Top 10 Bizarre or Frivolous Lawsuits”.

Check out this case:

No. 7 Holy Roller Vs Magicians

This is a true case of believe it or not. Christopher Roller, a resident of Minnesota sued David Blaine and David Copperfield – demanding that they reveal their secret magic tricks to him. He demanded 10% of their total income for life. The reason for the suit is that Roller believes that the magicians are defying the laws of physics, and thereby using godly powers. But it gets worse. Roller is suing not just because the magicians are using God’s powers – he is suing because he thinks he is God and therefore it is his powers they are stealing.

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PS. I digress again…I was gonna post about sth else, dunno how it ended up being about suing…and i forgot what i initially wanted to talk about ;p

The Tale of a Keseh, Sefidab, and my Face

My stay in Isfahan (last week) was exactly what I wanted it to be: To reconnect my inner being with the mystic souls of my yester-years. I am not sure if the correct word to use here is ‘reconnect’? Did I ever float comfortably with these serene souls?

Anyhoo, I’ll tell the story of how I rekindled my soul in a later post—but what I wanna tell you now is WHY THE #$%^ MY FACE BURNS LIKE HELL

So, one early afternoon I was lingering in the labyrinth of Shah/Imam square’s bazaar. I chatted for a while with a lady working on a miniature-design clock

Isfahany Minaturist Artist working on a clock

Isfahany Miniaturist Artist working on a clock

And a grumpy copper-smith

Isfahany copper-smith

Isfahany copper-smith

Then I spotted a lively, beautifully aged woman sitting on the stone benches of the main entrance to the bazaar.

Copper Bazaar

Copper Bazaar

I overheard her talking to another old man. She had a Yazdy accent; my dad’s city. She noticed me–well I was kind of hard to miss. I was just standing there for a good 5 minutes starring at the pattern of the engravings on the old door to the bazaar

“Are you a school girl?”

Now at my age, that is always a delight to hear,

“Nope, I passed that stage long time back.”

“You are a photographer?” pointing to the camera hung around my neck.

“Hmmm, not a photographer; just like to capture the beauty of it. What’s that?”

Now I knew perfectly well what she was selling. I know it sounds absurd, but she kind of reminded me of a similar old woman sitting on these very cold stones 20 years ago when I first visited Isfahan who was also selling loofahs. Could she be the very one?

“These? These are keesehs (special kind of loofahs). You come from abroad, right? Here on vacation?”

I smile and just nod my head.

“Well my dear, we call these loofahs.”

That’s so sweet, she is explaining to me what a loofah is. Don’t know why she suddenly felt like the grandmother I never knew.

“And what are these?” I asked pointing to the Sefidab (traditional Iranian soap)

Keeseh and Sefidab

Keeseh and Sefidab

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Now before you start rolling your eyes, yes, I do know what sefidab is…though I myself have never used them before. But her eyes, tone of voice, smile, all signaled to me that she wants to talk about keeseh and sefidab. So I asked:

“What do I do with this?”

Ever so delicately,s he took out one sefidab and then looked up at me,

“See this is a keeseh. You take this and you rub two strokes on the keeseh, then you take the keeseh and scrub your skin with it. Oooooooh, your skin would become sooooooo clean, your face would glow with redness, your cheeks would become so red, just like a baby, oooh you would be so so so so glowing. So much dirt would come off your skin that you would be actually able to see them on the keeseh!!”

“So would I have to use water?”

Need I remind you guys not to roll your eyes!! But I think I did shock her with that question. She paused for a while and then said:

“Yes, my daughter, there’s water in the bathroom. You should take a bath with water.”

Ok, fine I deserved that. But would you believe she wasn’t sarcastic when she said that. She genuinely wanted to teach me.

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Now since I really wanted to rekindle with my lost tradition, and was looking forward to having my cheeks become baby-like, I got a bag of sefiab, the keeseh loofah and a face loofah.

So last week I decided to take a bath the way my ancestors did several hundred years ago.

Now when my mommy dear saw the keseh and sefidab, she warned me, “I hope you got those at an ‘Atary’ (a traditional Iranian herbal/natural medicine shop)

“Nope! I got them from an old street vendor from some remote village near Yazd. She had a cloth laid out in imam square in Isfahan, a very charming woman.”

“I wouldn’t use it if I were you; most likely it isn’t very ….”

I didn’t hear the end of that sentence for by then I was already rubbing that Sefidab on the keseh.

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1 hour later—my skin did turn red, yeaaaah it was working

3 hours later–skin still red, way too red

5 hours later—skin unnaturally way too red

The next day at work—colleagues point, gasp and awe at the redness of my cheeks when they passed by. Some even seemed scared

2 days later—skin less red now but very dry

2.5 days later—skin so dry brother is thinking of using it as sandpaper for his project

4 days later—all is back to normal

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PS. Ok, so apparently the culprit over here was not the poor sefidab, the keeseh, or that wonderful lady, the problem was….ehhmm…it was…moi ..i used the body keseh on my face coz I figured hey why not up the dosage a bit 🙂 So I scrubbed, scrubbed like lady Macbeth scrubbing the blood off her hands—except she wanted to rub the red off, I got it on 🙂