Shhh, come closer and I’ll let you know me deep dark secret…my name is Noushin and I’m a procrastinator! 😦

Well, I haven’t always been a procrastinator, I jumped on this joyful ride only a year ago…and yes, I really do enjoy it πŸ™‚ Let me give you an example of my joyful deeds: Clocks were set back here in London, well, let’s see, maybe two weeks ago, and still I haven’t told my alarm..yeah, so it wakes me up an hour early every morning, but most mornings I don’t hear it anyways, so it’s all good πŸ™‚

But recently, it beginning to cost me…I had to pay 7.80 pounds for library overdue books, 60 pounds to NBK coz of forgetting my pin number, my NI form mught be refused coz I forgot to mail the application on time, oh, and of course my thesis is way behind πŸ™‚

Now, the other thing with me is that I need some ancient civilization to set me straight…and since this 11/11/11 is somehow related to the Mayans, I have graciously allowed them to help me jump off this merry little ride I am on. Yep, on this date, I am going to do the following:Β  1. Once a while, make an attempt at maybe getting off at certain stops on my joyful ride on the Procrastinating Train (some call it the Lazy Train), 2. start learning how to make firefox apps (saw an article about that and thought, hey why not), and 3. relaunch this blog!

Number 3…tick

UPDATE: Number 2=tick…okay, it wasn’t firefox, but chrome. This made it look easy:

Happy Birthday Mom :)

Hi Mom,

Happy 60th Birthday Mom πŸ™‚Β  … Yeah, yeah, I know, you left this world almost 100 weeks ago, but technically it is still the anniversary of when you first step foot into this world. Don’t know why people stop having birthday parties for people who are no longer physically with us? Anyhoo, I can’t go to your favorite restaurant to celebrate (not being in Kuwait anymore and all)…but I am determined to celebrate it…with loads of cheesecake :))

Mom, you would be happy to know I am no longer angry at God or blame anyone on anything…and you have started to talk when you appear in my dreams…before you used to more like floating through the scenes of my dreams…now you are more solid.

Which brings me to why I am writing to you…well, you know how you always used to whip my [beep] into shape when I was hibernating? …well, need that whip again πŸ™‚ My MBA dissertation is due in less than 2 months and I still haven’t worked on my questionnaire or set up the interviews!! I just can’t concentrate! Nothing is on my mind…just enjoying London’s clouds too much πŸ™‚ Every time I sit down to work, my mind wonders in all sorts of zigzag directions…like always, I need you…need you to give me that ‘look’ ;p … Can’t believe I’m 37 and still need to receive the ‘look’ from my mommy πŸ˜‰

Anyhoo, I’m going to the Bloomsburry Festival tomorrow, so I only have Monday to finish the first two chapters; they are both due on Tuesday….HELP, pleeeeeaseee πŸ™‚


Seriously hoping I don’t sound insane,




600 Days

Dear Mom,

Today, July 18th, marks the anniversary of the day you gave birth to me…it also marks 600 days since you found you peace. 600 days.

Your departure greatly altered my life. For the first time in my life I feel lonely. Never realized how attached I was to you till you left. So today for the 2nd year I celebrate my birthday without a cake that was baked or bought by you. Three years ago you got your doctor to give you permission to leave the hospital so you can take me to our favorite restaurant so you can celebrate my birthday…that was the last time I actually had a cake on my birthday. I didn’t last year…and I am not planning to this year. I’m not ready yet…yes, I have moved on…I do laugh again…I am quite cheerful…but I still can’t do the things I used to do with you without you…I have moved on in the sense that I left Kuwait so I am no longer forced to go to places I used to go with you…I don’t watch Indian movies anymore coz that’s the sort of thing I used to do with you…but I have moved on…I do listen to Indian songs…and at times I can hear you singing along with the song πŸ™‚ I did celebrate Nowroz this year coz you asked me to…you loved nowroz πŸ™‚ … but don’t know why celebrating my birthday without you is just way too painful…maybe coz the memory of my last one 2 years ago with you…maybe coz a birthday without you is meaningless…or maybe coz i don’t feel like being joyful on the 600th day of your departure.

Missing you,


A preface to 2011

I often wondered if it’s possible to look clearly ahead without a rear view mirror…

I doubt my soul can stir properly forward without resorting to what it went through.

As 2011 approaches, my soul takes a look at who it was and what it went through and what it grasped on its journey in 2010.

What it learned in 2010 is as follows:

1. Time doesn’t heal; it gives you a chance to explore various ways of dealing with your hurt.

2. There are some questions that you will never find the answer to. On the anniversary of mom’s departure I decided to stop asking God why her and just accept that I would never again get to create new memories with her.

3. Interacting with a person who is no longer physically in this world isn’t as hard as it seems. Of course there are days she doesn’t respond but that doesn’t mean she is leaving you…it probably mean she wants you to leave her the hell alone ;p ;p

4. The kindness of people is what makes life worth living.

5. Karma does exit…it’s freaking scary how many times I have seen her..or him…or it.

6. One of the best gift you can give your self is to learn how to see things from other people’s perspective. The more you do, the less you have the urge to smack them, and the lessΒ  you wanna smack people, the happier you are πŸ™‚

7. Cooking can be uplifting (yes, i have started cooking again πŸ™‚ )




That’s enough for now…I can’t recall the other lessons I have leaned. But now to look into the future…


Well, on 10/10/10 I arrive in London to pursue my MBA. Why MBA? Why London? …I’m not sure to be honest…it’s just that one night back in July I decided to get up at around 3 in the morning and google MBA programs around the world…I just needed to get out of Kuwait…there was just way too many memories in the streets of Kuwait that I wasn’t yet ready to deal with…I couldn’t believe that in less than 3 months I had received my acceptance letter, my visa, sold my car and other possessions, and had a one-way ticket in my hand to London.

I left with only one suitcase…and in it was my mom’s radio, my dairy, some sentimental mementos,Β  and a T-Shirt my mom bought for me 22 years ago (yes I do still wear it), and 2 pairs of jeans and 3 sweaters. That’s it. I came to start my new life here in London on 10/10/10 with that one suitcase.


So far I love my experience…I’ll post more about what I think of living in London in other posts…and I also owe an apology post to NBK…I thought their customer service was terrible…wait till i write about Barclays…banks in general don’t like me 😦


Anyhoo, back to 2011, here’s what I hope I can achieve in 2011:

1. I hope I’ll be back to blogging regularly…though most of them will probably be related to my studies

2. Finally learn how to use my camera properly

3. Get to know myself better

4. Start to treat my friends better…seriously in the past 2 years I have been a bitch :O



NBK Update: NBK Rocks

I thought I had already posted this; apparently it was stuck in bad


What: Related to last post

Time: A couple of hours after publishing the post

Who: NBK

I was contacted by the wife of the former Head of the Customer Service Manager of NBK. Now, she doesn’t work for NBK nor does her husband anymore. But I guess his sense of responsibility and care for NBK is so strong that it even his family members care.

So, she got all the details from me (oh, and get this, she DID NOT ask me for the EXACT TIME). She called her husband, who called his former colleagues and got them to sort out my problem.

I got home that night and noticed there was a comment by a customer service representative on my previous post and the next morning I checked my account and lo and behold, the money was there!!

I was shocked!!!

So, here’s the story of two managers: The present branch manager of the Salmiya branch tells me to go to the police to have my problem solved; the former Head of Customer Service of NBK solves it for me in less than half a working day.

It’s true, the reputation of any organization is in the hands of its people. I was about to go and close all my accounts at NBK because of the words of one manager, but now I believe they have the best customer service because of the actions of another.


I also received a call from an employee at my NBK branch who apologies for the inconvenience…no not that same employee one who told me she can’t help me because it is too much paper work!! It was someone named Adel. Thank you Adel. And thank you NBK

I’ll be moving to London in 2 weeks and sincerely hope the staff over there are more like Adel and less like that Ms. EXACT TIME.

NBK sucks!!

Where: NBK Salmiya Branch

Who: NBK Manager

When: This morning

What did she say: It’s best you file a complaint against us at the police station!!


Background to the story:

So I go to deposit KD 600 in my account using their ATM on a Wednesday night. After the stupid machine took my money it gives me an error signal and says I should contact my nearest branch. So I do. I go to my nearest branch after the Eid holiday and the customer representative takes all the details except for the EXACT TIME. I couldn’t remember the exact time, it was a whole week ago. All I remembered was that is was after dark on the Wednesday before Eid.

So she calls me the next day:

Her: Ma’am, which ATM was it?

Me: The one on the right.

She calls again the next day

Her: Ma’am, you have to remember the EXACT TIME.

Me: I have a terrible memory. I don’t remember the EXACT TIME.

Her: But You have to; I checked until 4 in the evening and couldn’t find it.

Me: We’ll, it was after 4; it was dark.

Her: Ma’aam I can’t check all those hours. It’s too much paper I have to print. Give me the EXACT TIME.

Me: So, you are telling me I have lost my KD 600 because it is too much work to find the error the ATM machine made?? What am I suppose to do now? Go to the central bank?

Her: no, no, no, need. But if I don’t find it you would have to talk to my manager.

She didn’t call me for 4 working days!!

So this morning I go to the bank again. After being made to wait for 35 minutes, another customer representative takes me to her manager.

NBK Manager: Ma’am, you have to tell us the EXACT TIME.

Me: [huge sigh]: If I knew the EXACT TIME, why do you think I would hide it from you??? I don’t know the EXACT TIME.

NBK Manager: Well, you have to try to remember it. We will try to search again from 3 pm to 3 am on Wednesday. But if we can’t find it, it’s best that you file a complaint with the police station!!

Okay, my question is this: How many errors do you get on that ATM per day? If it’s less than 10, it should take you 5 seconds to find it. If it’s more, there’s something wrong with your system, update it!!! I am going to leave Kuwait in about 3 weeks, I don’t have time to file a complaint!!!!

PS. I wonder who I pissed off that Karma is getting back at me by making my life cross paths with these imbeciles at NBK


If I ever save a fairy and she is ever so grateful and she decided to abide by the fairy tale rule of granting me one wish and she considers my first wish (to have as many wishes as I like) as an invalid wish, then my only second wish would be to never forget the lessons I have learned in life.

One lesson I keep forgetting over and over again is to stop playing the victim; to stop blaming others for my misfortunes. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

I was talking to someone in her early 80s and he was nagging about his kids and how ungrateful they are. I met one of his daughters later on that evening and the things she said about her dad…well. let’s just say he’s got great kids that they still talk to him!! If what the daughter told me was true.

Then it got me thinking…so when I complain or am upset with certain people in my life, could it be that it’s not them, it’s me?!! Am I just as blind as that old guy. He truly didn’t see that his current situation is the result of his actions (or mistreatment of his loved ones). My question is: How do I know if what happens to me is not the result of my bitchiness?

I guess I got my answer today. I was surfing when I came across the 12 laws of Karma. One of the laws is: THE LAW OF RESPONSIBILITY

Whenever there is something wrong,
there is something wrong in me.
We mirror what surrounds us
and what surrounds us mirrors us
We must take responsibility what is in our life.

No Expectations

I don’t know why for the past few days I wake up with a smile…a deep, light, sincere smile.

I don’t know why for the past few weeks all my dreams of mom are as if she never left. As if 2009 never happened.

I don’t know why my soul started decluttering without discussing it with me first.

I don’t know why my logical side no longer seeks answers.

I don’t know why I no longer feel angry; I hold no resentment against anyone; I no longer loath any thing or anyone.

I don’t know why I am calm; I am light.

I don’t know why I no longer want things, nor need things.

I don’t know why I no longer have any expectations from myself, from others, from god, from life, from destiny.

I don’t know what took over my soul; all I know is I like it.

How or why it happened, I don’t know